It’s been a long time since I posted here. I’m currently under lockdown so I have no excuses anymore to not take some time to write something.
Even before the lockdown and the start of this pandemic, my new year’s plans were derailed because of some bureaucratic mess I had to deal with. This was my first obstacle of the year and I immediately became undisciplined when confronted with it. At the time I didn’t know that 2020 would be full of obstacles.
I was afraid of this
I became stressed about the possible pandemic at the end of January. I hoped that my government would be reasonable, seal the borders, and stop the flights from the infected countries before the virus has spread.
I was wrong. Throughout February I watched in disbelief what was happening in China. The lies of their government, the lies of the WHO, various governments telling their people that this won’t affect their citizens. I heard from everywhere that closing the borders and stopping the flights was unnecessary and that it would destroy our economies. Really? More than they are being destroyed now? While we’re treated like prisoners?
Then it came here
We got our first infected at the beginning of March and by March 12 almost everything was closed. On March 15 the government forbade the free movement of people, effectively locking us like prisoners in our own homes. It’s been almost a month. I used to walk ten to eighteen kilometers each day, now I’m sitting at my desk all day, getting depressed. I should be able to convince myself that this is the perfect time to do all the work that I planned to do at the beginning of this year. But I can’t.
I love spring…and freedom
It’s spring. My favorite season of the year. And I’m missing it because of worldwide stupidity and because almost every government around the globe decided to destroy their own local traditional industries in favor of cheap pre-broken imports from China. I hope that people and governments will get smarter once this all ends and invest in their own industries and production, but I’m not counting on it.
Nothing is certain anymore
At this point in time, I don’t know what I should do. I need to reevaluate everything I do and everything I planned on doing. My sales in print on demand stores have crashed. Nobody’s buying anything. I had more canceled orders than new orders. If this continues I can’t stay in this business much longer. I know, I wanted to diversify and start new venues, but it will be harder while not earning practically everything of the work I’ve done previously. It’s the kind of situation that keeps one awake at night.
I don’t know how smart it would be to start anything new right now when almost everyone is losing money and can’t afford to spend much on non-essentials. And thinking about the betrayal of average citizens by their own governments makes me mad and takes away my will to do anything but wallow in sadness and semi-desperation. All my adult life, I wanted to be left alone, especially by the government, I didn’t want anything, just be left alone and live my life as I please. Now I can’t do almost anything. Nothing is private anymore. We’re been watched.
We have no rights
People around the globe and their basic rights have been sacrificed because the governments wanted to protect the business interests of multinational organizations and large corporations while hoping that there was some possibility that even if they didn’t take any precautions, nothing bad would happen. Well, something bad did happen because of their inaction and as always, local communities and small businesses will get destroyed, while corporations will get their public money bailouts once this all ends.
At this point, I wonder why do we even pay taxes. To our governments, we’re just the dumb obedient cattle that keep the multinational corps running. We don’t matter, if we did, we wouldn’t be sacrificed at the altar of globalism.
Sorry, not sorry
I’m sorry that I rambled for so long but I needed to get this off my chest and to put my anger into words. I think it helped. I don’t expect almost anyone to read this, and I would prefer it if they didn’t. I wrote this mainly for myself, my peace of mind, and to document what’s happening both in the world and in my mind.
I hope that people will be safe as much as possible and that the damages and the number of the dead won’t be as high as some predicted. We’ll have an opportunity to reflect on how this happened and why.
I still hope that there will be some silver lining coming from this, like reinvigoration of localism, the reintroduction of traditional industries, and possibly boycott of products made in China. If we didn’t ignore the Chinese disregard for human rights and the environment, nothing of this would have happened.
People need to wake up and I hope that some will.